First and foremost, let’s all be mature about this because it’s a serious matter for some people don’t have enough knowledge on it && better grab some snacks cause this will be a long one!
I won’t blame you if you’re uninterested on sex or you’re even grossed out – been there done that. Just remember it’s a natural process, it’s a human activity – there’s really nothing extravagant about sex. The society has set a high standard on sex in my opinion, making it a big of a deal when in fact it’s just two people (mostly who are in love) making intercourse – in short, putting one’s dick into a vagina. I know you must be wondering “you can’t say that because you haven’t experienced it” well honey, let’s be real now, I don’t have a boyfriend (and I’ll be answering this furthermore later). Sex vary on countries, cultures, traditions, and religions – and I respect them, don’t get me wrong and judge me by saying *in a white girl’s tone* “people differ denysse *insert rolling eyes emoji*”. I know! I know! I am 100% aware and I’m only stating my personal opinion.
But!! There should be a day wherein you swallow up the innocent child in you and just watch Arden Rose’s video :
(which by the way is the inspiration of this blog). Arden comprehensively explained every basic thing you need to know, it’s very comfortable to watch and it doesn’t contain any ‘inappropriate’ images on it so you’re good to go! Let’s be real now, at least by 16 you should at least know deets what sex is.
Welp, to be honest in my teenage years I’ve only been somehow 90% aware of sex til I got into college. This isn’t even a good thing because we should be knowledgeable about it, but I guess our education system disapproves on sex education (bummer).
When I was in high school, we always have that one sexual friend (not in THAT way) but the ones who knows almost everything on sex and always joke a lot about it. So, every time my friend say something I always – ALWAYS – ask what it is, or if I overheard one thing, I immediately ask my friend. It looks cute cause I’m just a (non k12) high school student who’s still learning, but oh-my-lorde I remembered in my first year in college.. I literally asked one friend of mine what a ‘boner’ is. Such a cringe-y moment for a 17 year old teen to ask such thing.
Going back.. Discovering this wonderful human activity is such a doll, our school won’t educate us, even our parents (or some (don’t want to generalize)) won’t either. It really is a “self-study” kind of thing – not masturbating okay – as in like, reading articles or science books even. Watching porn won’t help you too!! So don’t get too cocky (pun intended) about sex if you’ve only watched adult videos *winks awkwardly*. Any how to expound this interesting topic, here’s a question I’m gladly to answer:
When do you think is the right time to give away your virginity?
Let’s talk about ‘virginity’ first; in my opinion, virginity is once again a big of a deal in the society. I hate how we slut shame women the moment they lose theirs while to men… it’s a sign of masculinity. Oh and also, don’t forget that the definition of a women’s virginity is a… hymen! Gorgeous, you (/your girlfriend) can lose your hymen anytime not by just having sex.
Now, about the question, my answer will be the same as Arden’s explanation, it’ll be the right time to give away your virginity when you have enough knowledge on having safe sex.
- Condoms – people usually say it’s BORING to use condoms, but guess what, safe sex will never be boring! Don’t let peer pressure eat you (pun may be intended), they just think it’s cool to not use condoms, they brag of how bad-ass they are. Don’t hesitate on using one and always have a condom ready to use! Never know when you’ll need it.
- Pills – if you have enough budget go for it, but be extra careful for it has side effects. Better read and research a lot on pills you’re about to have.
- Tracking (your/girlfriend’s) period – if you’re like me who didn’t listen to my biology teacher back in high school and now regretting it cause you don’t know when you’re ovulating, worry no more! I have an app on my phone which records your period patterns and tell you when’s your ‘fertility window’ (there’s a chance of getting pregnant) and your ‘ovulation day’ (high chance of pregnancy). It will also remind you how many days are left until your next period. The app is called ‘My Calendar’ but there are so many apps similar to this really, choose your favourite!
- Diseases – Casual sex tends to be the cause of this because people pass it to another individual. I am not against casual sex cause who am I to stop people from doing what they ‘enjoy’, but I will defo make sure it’s a ‘casual safe sex’ *winks intelligently*. Always make sure your partner doesn’t have any AIDS or STD, nobody wants that. Medication is expensive and you’ll experience pain. Don’t be afraid to have a checkup once in a while to make sure you are all clean.
But nonetheless, whenever you’re ready honey. Don’t force yourself to do such thing if you’re not close to being ready. A phenomenon like sex will never define the person you are, and it never will be. Don’t let anybody force you to do such thing, learn to say ‘NO’ – even if you’re drunk or sober. Honey, you are better than that! Never let your boyfriend or girlfriend force you to have sex with them, if ever they never stopped asking you.. LEAVE THEM. Don’t let people use you for pleasure. Never forget to respect yourself. It’s not like once you lose your virginity, doesn’t mean you should automatically have sex with people.
To end this wonderful post; I hope you enjoyed reading this and I hope I somehow helped you to discover what your genitals are capable of and what sex is all about. Isn’t it fun to be enlightened? Of course it is! Now, go on and spice up your sex life! Kidding aside, never forget to have safe sex and love your partner passionately. xx