Body Insecurities in Sex; A sextravaganza pt. 2!

denysse talks

Process of adulting is fun yet terrifying – in a way responsibilities are knocking at your door, but fun because you can do whatever you want (legally speaking, you devils). Of course one of the fun things (that you will carefully execute) is sex. Yup ladies and gents, welcome to adulthood! Population: too many for the planet earth to handle. But hey I’ve already covered the basics regarding sex (link here: You Sexy Thing). We’ve come to the part where your insecurities kick in. I’ll be tackling both female & male’s insecurities (but of course I’d be focusing more on females’).

First to women, ah yes what a shocker! When even without sex we are insecure about every detail in our body and I frickin’ love it. Yes boys you read that right (even if I know you already knew..). But hoorah, focusing on sex let’s begin.

List of body parts women are insecure about when having sex:

  1. Breasts
  2. Buttocks
  3. Vagina
  4. Stomach
  5. Armpits

Well isn’t that a long list and seem to be accurate. As I tweeted a poll on my twitter:

poll 1
Breasts: 21 | Buttocks: 9 | Vagina: 9 | Nosey Gals: 79

✨ Breasts/Boobies ✨

Whatever names you call it, of course will be the top 1 of them all. Breasts is something women are proud or ashamed of, depending on size and situation. Situational where the smaller boobs are cuter and nicer on pretty tops and laced bras, but on the down side… you know what I mean. Women are easily judged by just having smaller boobs and having bigger boobs is more fun in bed. And when we are talking about in bed, women with smaller boobs are ashamed of it unlike bigger boobies. If you don’t get the point because you’re claiming to be the “i don’t know these things cause I have a clean mind and I don’t watch porn” type of person, then here’s 2 words: groping & sucking. You’re welcome. But here’s an advice from your fellow small boob human, even if you’re a 32A or a D it won’t pretty much matter. You still have some bump in there y’know? Boobs aren’t really the focus on sex it’s the love making process… *laughing my ass (not boobs cause I don’t have any left) out* (even if men did stated breasts are the highlight of sex (don’t listen to them, they are poo poo heads kidding).

✨ Buttocks/Butt/Ass ✨

Again whatever you call it, the next big thing (pun may or may not be intended hehehe). 2 words: groping & slapping. But hey, everybody’s got a butt no matter what so don’t be insecure! Because again, it’s not the highlight of this magical human activity. *winks at you sexually*

✨ Vagina ✨

Now here’s the real deal, for the past years I’ve been asking my guy friends about shaved/unshaved vaginas and the only answer I keep in mind: “sometimes men don’t mind because they’re too horny to even think about it”. But then there’s always this mentality where unshaved vagina’s are disgusting and unclean looking. Plus it’s embarrasing really if you think of it, although you might say, “but it’s there for a purpose right?” I honestly don’t know and I’m too lazy to research on it whilst I write this thing. The thing is, do wherever you’re comfortable with, shaved or not, cause even men dont shave. If your other half or some guy you met at a bar thinks unshaved vagina is disguting then leave that naked boy in bed and say “atleast i have a pussy and not acting like one” kidding aside, just so you know, it’s harder than you thought and damn wax is expensive. So whatevs gal, whatever you and your wallet contends.


Having a flabby stomach isn’t the best thing in a girl’s world. It’s a bit embarrasing when you don’t have a flat stomach and another individual can see it. But then again they won’t mind because they’re focusing on having sex and even you. Your brain isn’t completely in it’s normal state that lets you think “oh my god are you fucking serious on getting your top off? what if he sees your flabs?” “self, stop embarrasing yourself” and whatnot mainly because you’re both horny and nothing matters most than what position you’re going to do next. Although if your partner isn’t really comfortable with your bilbils then leave him because he’s too immature to realize that it doesn’t matter and it really is a part of life, of one’s body who loves to eat. But if you yourself isn’t comfortable, learn to love yourself but if you’re too bothered with it then workout make that stomach of yours flat. It’s your choice never your partners. More of this, watch Louise Pentland’s video (7:26-8:30 minutes).

✨ Armpits ✨

For the love of lorde what it is with women and hairs? Why is armpit hairs a problem, oh yeah wait the society has set a standard on women’s armpits. That armpits should be clean and smooth as hell. Personally, it already is a mentality wherein armpits should also be shaved and it’s hard to change this mentality especially when you’re trying to impress a guy in bed. Look, wax is expensive so shaving is an option, but then legend says it’ll make your pits darken so you need some whitening cream or deo then. God being a woman is hard and expensive, we’re too high maintenance in hygiene. Why can’t it be simplier? But one guy friend of mine said “if the hairs ain’t that many/long then it’s fine, but dude if it’s the opposite then it’s a bit disguting?” You’d be the judge of that. Because my word is, do wherever you’re most comfortable at and besides if you have a partner you should plan when you’ll have sex (period track) then that’s the only time you need to pamper yourself. Hashtag life hack.

Look ladies, just to make it “even”, make your jobs heavenly or great. Now, let’s talk about men’s body insecurities in sex. Let’s pretend it ain’t obvious, so here’s their list:

  1. Abs
  2. Penis

Isn’t that short? (pun may or may not be intended 😉 ) and again made a twitter poll:

poll 2.png
Abs: 18 | Penis: 29 | Nosy Guys: 115

✨ Abs ✨

What every female drools on male. Ahhh, abs the ultimate treasure of a male’s body.

To ladies, not every guy has abs, some having flat stomachs and some also has a flabby stomach. So there’s your #couplegoals.

To gentlemen, don’t mind your beer belly so much! Because we all know getting a 6-pack isn’t easy as it seems and then again it isn’t the hightlight of sex. I’m guessing those who answered abs are those virgin girls that really don’t know the true purpose of abs in sex, which is nothing….. or maybe when y’all wanna eat something each other’s body off. Abs shouldn’t bother you in sex, because there are other things should bother you instead like not getting your girl pregnant. See that’s a more realistic and pragmatic.

✨ Penis ✨

Yes ladies, men get insecure too. Penis is one of their biggest existential problem. Look my Filipino men, your penis will depend on your height (as far as I know) and you’re a Filipino so don’t expect a humangous penis. You should worry if it’s still puny when erected. Although a piece of advice from me and my fellow ladies, know what sex positions works best for your penis, because boi sometimes you being at bottom is hard. Your stick might slip out once in a while and maybe make bawi by fingering. Personally, I don’t know if there’s like a trick or something to make it bigger, but remember just be smart during sex, with your tricks and positions. Women don’t really mind if you have a 5 inch penis as long as you do it right.

To conclude this fascinating topic, the society has set a standard on what a body should look like. Porn is the biggest contributor in this sense. People in the porn industry are blessed with perfect bodies and make you think that when you’re having sex it should look like that. Remember that they really make it look good for your entertainment.

Nonetheless, your body is perfect as it is. Make your partner feel like their ‘sizes’ don’t matter because you love them and that love really what matters most in sex (and maybe a bit of the fun and sarap feeling).


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